Hey Vudu, just cancel the sexist reboot no one asked for

There’s been a lot of talk about the “Mr. Mom” reboot on Walmart-owned streaming service Vudu.

Most of it has been centered upon this being Vudu’s first original series.

There’s also a bit of buzz about its need – as in, no one really asked for it.

Julian Franco, Vudu senior director, insists the remake centers upon nostalgia.

“As parents, we want to share with kids the TV shows and movies that we grew up with,” he said to Variety.

mrmom4

There’s just a few problems with that kind of nostalgia. Namely, it’s sexist – pure and simple.

Look back at the 1983 version and you’ll find a rather simple, primary plot: the dad was a stay-at-home parent. That was it.

It offered laughs for a generation of parents who cheered at the ultimate family role reversal. Switching mom’s and dad’s jobs made for instant comic fodder, especially after decades of expected social norms.

But even by 1983 standards, those roles had already been transforming for years. It’s not like mom wasn’t already working outside the home. She was, and stay-at-home dads were already a thing, though admittedly less common.

And yet as successful as “Mr. Mom” was for its time, it bears mentioning that there was never a sequel, the go-to bread-and-butter for any Hollywood studio executive.

Fast forward 36 years later and you find a world where parenting roles are blurred, and a marketing/media industry that clearly hasn’t caught up with the times.

Then there’s that title.

You’d be hard-pressed to find a term more offensive to dads. After all, they’re not moms – they’re dads – and there’s nothing emasculating about working inside the home and taking care of children.

It’s called parenting.

For years, dads have been unfairly mislabeled Mr. Mom – a name that’s not only insulting, but erroneous. Would anyone dare call a working mother, Mrs. Dad? Moms don’t exactly find that term endearing, either; it’s not their job to cook, clean and tend to the kids.

And yet studio executives pass off this as nostalgia, or comedy – or whatever.

It’s no joke watching a dad care for his children. Imagine a show that laughs at moms trying to make it in the corporate world. Or work on cars. Or play sports.

It wouldn’t happen because they can do those things. The parenting community has matured and evolved. Hollywood, to a certain extent, has too.

Damsel-in-distress movies have gone by the wayside because they’re old-fashioned and passé. Today’s audiences want to see “Wonder Woman,” “Captain Marvel,” or Rey take down the First Order in “Star Wars.”

Its films like these – with plenty more on the way – which shape public perception of females. Here we begin to see assertive, independent, active leaders. Those successful female characters don’t politicize, sexualize or diminish their gender, they just lead. We begin to accept this new fantasy as reality, and of course, we have to learn how to deal with reality.

No male should have to show his feminine side. He doesn’t have one – he’s a man. And it’s no fun being ridiculed as a parent, which is completely different from encountering laughing matters while parenting. That happens to everyone.

There is, however, a completely masculine way to parent whether you’re cleaning the home or working outside it.

If you’re a dad in today’s world, sometimes you have to do both.

Someone ought to let Vudu know that.

Advertisements

How marketing to dad affects the workplace

If dad is prominently featured in the marketing of products and services all around us, it then becomes the normalized state. Genders will be viewed without favoritism, but rather with impartiality, while still welcoming and honoring the valuable differences among us. No longer will it be mom versus dad. Judgment will vanish from our speech. The approach toward work and play will change, and society is destined to benefit.

There are many reasons why including dads in marketing makes sense financially and morally, but the case to do so goes far beyond inclusion, equality, and profit. Though all very noble objectives, it has abundant meaning for humanity as it can streamline the way society is developed. Consider the range of ways that marketing to dad can have a far reaching positive impact it can have, but one overlooked area is in the workplace.

adult-blur-businessman-927022

Companies who place a value on dads in the workforce are directly upholding the human value of its employees. With labor-cost as one of the top expenses in any company, one can’t help but wonder if too much focus is placed on output to the exclusion of the person doing the work.

In other words, those are people sitting at those desks and work stations – are businesses putting them first, above the work itself? Are they valued as the greatest resource in the company? Are there enough policies in place that value them as parents?

There should be provisions for a family-first culture through parental leave, flex time, compressed work weeks, remote work, job sharing, and more. These indirect, non-monetary benefits help to motivate and retain current employees, as well as attract new talent. These policies can easily result in more productive employees who are inspired to share even more of themselves and their abilities at work. Never forget that when employees resign, they typically don’t quit the work, they quit the employer.

The impacts don’t end there. Employees who have a positive work experience will share it through their personal social media outlets. They will spread the goodwill of a company culture that caters to dads who place family first. Every single employee – regardless of title or department – can serve as a brand ambassador. And other companies like to do business with like-minded companies of the same beliefs.

If your company doesn’t place importance on dad, that word will get around, too. You may feel or think the negative banter doesn’t go much farther than the proverbial locker room, but destructive words spread faster with the growth of social media.

One word makes all the difference

Consider the advertisement and slogan examples all around you.

Oftentimes, if marketers could merely change one word, the message they convey becomes much more inclusive.

  • Arm & Hammer: “If you want to know which detergent to trust, ask your mother. And her mother. And her mother.”
  • Applegate natural and organic meats: “Mom’s dream team for lunch”
  • Aveeno Baby: “Trusted sun protection for baby and mom…maybe that’s why so many moms choose Aveeno…”
  • Babybel: “Attention moms! I’m obviously a great addition to your kid’s lunchbox…”
  • Baby Depot at Burlington: “At Burlington, we carry the most Mom-trusted brands…”
  • Banquet frozen foods: “Perfect for busy moms with even busier families.”
  • Beech-Nut: “Moms don’t add anything artificial into their babies’ food. So neither do we.”
  • Betty Crocker: “Your little one will feel like a Superhero – and you will look like Wondermom! – when you reveal a Superhero Cake for his birthday dessert.”
  • Capri Sun: “At Capri Sun, we’ve been listening to and learning from our moms since the very beginning.”
  • Chuck E. Cheese: “Join us for Chuck E. Cheese’s new Mommy & Me class.”
  • Chuck E. Cheese: “Thank you, mom.” (TV commercial)
  • Coppertone: “…it’s easy for moms to love it too.”
  • Dannon: “As a mom, you want your kids to grow up healthy and strong.”
  • Desitin: “Trusted by more pediatricians and moms than any other brand…”
  • Dr. Smith’s: “The brand moms and pediatricians trust to gently help treat irritated baby bottoms, fast.”
  • Earth’s Best Diapers: “For Moms who care and the little ones they love…”
  • Fisher-Price: “Thanks Mom, for choosing us your most loved & trusted brand.”
  • Garanimals: “Moms know the right outfit makes everybody comfortable…Moms love them because they’re practical.”
  • Gerber: “…we’ve collected product reviews from Moms like you…”
  • Gerber Life Insurance Company: “See what Moms are saying about the Grow-Up Plan.”
  • Huggies: “Got questions? We’ve got answers! Huggies Mommy Answers has essential baby info…”
  • Hyland’s Baby: “…and have been trusted by moms for over 80 years.”
  • IntelliGender: “…a fun pre-birth experience for expectant moms everywhere!”
  • Jif: “In 1958, original Jif Creamy Peanut Butter was introduced, and quickly became a favorite. Moms recognized Jif peanut butter’s superior fresh-roasted peanut taste…”
  • Johnson’s: “Moms around the world trust Johnson’s to safely care for their babies. We are committed to working with moms…”
  • Juicy Juice: “Hey moms, check out these great Juicy Juice crafts and recipes!”
  • Kellogg’s Frosted Mini-Wheats: “Mom, more please!”
  • Kid Cuisine: “We believe that kids should get to be kids, and moms should get to serve food…”
  • Kix: “Generations later, kids still love it and moms still approve.”Luvs: “The official diaper of experienced moms.”
  • Lysol: “Congratulations, you’re a mom!…Being a new mom is an exciting…”
  • MyGerber: “Moms and babies, let’s get growing.”
  • Nestle Pure Life: “Meet our moms: nestlepurelifepromise.com”
  • Noodle & Boo: “Our mama profile…only the best will do for her baby.”
  • Nutrients for Life: “Thank mom for the cookies & N.P.K for the ingredients.”
  • Oscar Mayer: “These are real moms getting their kids ready for kindergarten.”
  • P&G: “Thank You Mom for supporting all of our interests.”
  • Pampers: Website menu tab includes “Mommy Corner,” with no dads’ counterpart.
  • Parents magazine: “Must-haves and must-dos for mom and family.”
  • Similac: “More Moms choose the Similac Brand.”
  • Texas Toast: “Thick, crunchy toast. Brushed with buttery, garlic goodness. Bravo, Mom. Take a bow.”
  • Tum-E Yummies: “Moms see goodness. Kids see fun!”
  • Tummy Calm: “Mommy, my tummy hurts…”
  • Walmart: “Baby basics for every mom…Top-rated by moms like you.”
  • Walmart: “Mom’s menu rescue”
  • Zone Perfect: “Mom, look what I can do!…A mom can dream, right?”

trust

The replacement of words mom or mother with the word parent is a simple solution that projects the message that fathers and mothers deserve equality within the realm of the family.

This means that both women and men have the potential to be nurturing, compassionate, and emotionally available to their children. This also means that both men and women have the capacity to be providers, protectors, educators, and disciplinarians to their children.

The beauty of this truth is that both men and women can fulfill each of these roles and more—even if it means they take differing paths to arrive at that goal.

The case for marketing to dads

Marketing to dads is a way to motivate and challenge dads to create a higher standard of parenting involvement with their children.

As the expectations for greater parental involvement increases in professional and personal lives, dads will also spend more time with children. A prime example is the participation in dads’ clubs. Dad’s involvement at school does not diminish productivity and/or quality of work at the dads’ place of employment. A happy dad makes for a more productive and happy employee.

affection-children-dad-1470109.jpg

A dad’s involvement also means less time that children remain supervised by a television, video game, or worse, surfing the Internet alone. Instead it means more time in the care of a dad who loves them.

The truth is that the current generation of children are the future business professionals who will champion marketing messages, journalists who will shape our attitudes, teachers who will instruct the next generation, doctors who will perform surgeries years from now, and leaders who will be voted upon someday. These children will more than likely also become parents. This makes this task of marketing to dads both very public and very necessary to building stronger families. And today’s generation of parents are their role models!

The case can be made that our very health depends on it, too. Health and wellness begins with parents at the birth of their children. When health care professionals consider dads as equal parents, they allow dads to get even more immersed in their child’s well-being. This could be as simple as calling dads by name in waiting rooms, speaking to and making eye contact with dads in appointments, or reminder calls that address both parents. It could also mean that companies allow employees greater flexibility for both parents to simply attend child well-check visits.

The overall parenting community itself also stands to benefit greatly by including dads in marketing. Rather than pitting one parent’s expertise as superior to another, parents will see each other as allies and not as adversaries who are competing with one another. Dads won’t feel like outsiders, and that improved unity means everyone will work together more effectively and learn from one another. Unity between moms and dads will also help online parenting websites expand and deepen their discussions about store brands, schooling, medicine, nutrition, or simply seeking general parenting advice.

It’s a positive sign when moms and dads work to build greater unity and more cohesive parenting – and it will leave a better parenting legacy for children.

Is NUK failing dads?

If you’ve ever brought a child into the world, chances are you’ve used NUK products. Whether it’s bottles, teethers or tableware, NUK is easy to be found in the childcare world.nuk2.jpg

Yet for a company that’s been around for almost 60 years, NUK doesn’t appear to be listening to its customer base.

That’s because its marketing team has positioned its business as one of the more dad exclusionary companies around. On its website – nuk-usa.com – you’ll find repeated instances of an unrepresentative approach:

  • A trademarked “You’ve nuk3.pngGot This” slogan which offers wonderful parental assurance, but only for mom. Observe its one-sided slogan description: “Congratulations, mom! You just did the amazing and brought a beautiful baby into the world.” Wording like this ignores the indisputable fact that dad also just did the amazing and brought a beautiful baby into the world.
  • There you can also view a brief, inspirational video that expands on the “You’ve Got This” notion by not only repeatedly speaking to mom in name, but forgets to include even one moment of footage of a father in action.
  • NUK employs use of the exclusionary hashtag #NUKMoms.nuk4.jpg
  • It offers the “More for Moms Rewards Program.” And just in case you missed the program’s logo on the front page, there’s a box on the bottom right corner of nearly every page offering “Exclusive Savings Just for Mom.”

Interestingly, if not predictable, you won’t find a single image of a dad anywhere on its site, nor on social media. That’s where unquestionable irony sinks in. There are numerous cute faces of male babies and young boys used to sell NUK products. But then consider how those same faces will be ignored by the very company they represent once they become fathers later in life.

Its Twitter feed reinforces the notion that moms are its intended audience by insisting, “With some patience, creativity and expertly engineered products from NUK®, you can nuk.jpgtackle this mom thing.”

Imagine you’re a dad and reading, “…you can tackle this mom thing.”

If there were any further doubt as to whom it wants as customers, NUK seals the deal on its About Us page by declaring, “And we listen to the real world experts – moms just like you – to meet and exceed your needs.”

Dad knows what he’s doing every bit as mom. In today’s online shopping world where customers are sometimes only known by credit card numbers, it’s time that NUK takes a moment to embrace the other parent who knows a thing or two about nurturing.

Baking up parental equality

Most consumer products have peak sales times of the year – periods on the calendar when companies can best capitalize on generating the most revenue.entenmanns.jpg

For many, that time of year is the holiday shopping season, when gift buying is strong. For others, such as home improvement stores, that time occurs during the spring when home owners are fixing and planting. Fitness centers especially profit during January and February as New Year’s resolutions mean losing weight and exercising more.

Of course, this time of year – back-to-school season – is when breakfast and lunch makers ramp up efforts to get families in the groove of using their products.

And what is snack maker/baker Entenmann’s doing? It’s telling the nation that only one parent takes care of kids.entenmanns2.jpg

Not only can you find use of the word mom (not parent), you can also find images of a lopsided 13 moms vs. 4 dads on its Parents/Have Fun With Us page.

All of this would have been appropriate some 60-70 years ago when moms ran the show. But parenting has changed dramatically since then. In today’s modern families, dad is now also in charge of buying groceries, clothes, school supplies, and other products and services the family needs to exist. So the marketing approach is key, because dad needs to see he is a trustworthy purchasing agent for his family. The best way to do this is to involve him in the marketing process and value him as an equal parent as well as a valued customer.

By marketing directly to moms, Entenmann’s reinforces a certain stereotype and subliminally makes dad feel that mom is a better/leading parent.

Entenmann’s could do everyone a service by ending this practice of only conversing with moms. It will also do itself a firm favor by winning back dads who are currently reaching for another brand.

What to expect — when you’re a dad

There’s no denying the impact of the legendary book “What to Expect When You’re Expecting.” Author Heidi Murkoff didn’t just write a book in 1984, she created a brand whattoexpect3.jpgthat has spawned a series of books, an online companion site, a feature film starring Cameron Diaz, and a foundation that has benefited over a half million parents.

Simply put, when Murkoff speaks, people listen. And they should. Her easily accessible WhatToExpect.com is a treasure trove of exhaustive pregnancy subject matter. The site is still greatly in need of a “For Dad” section, and while we’ve already addressed that once, we’ll get back to that in a moment.

Today, let’s look at its latest email newsletter, which tackles an amazingly thoughtful question from one of its readers and is also kindheartedly addressed by its founder Murkoff.

While it’s easy to appreciate this column’s intent, dads may find a real problem with parts of it.

whattoexpect4.pngIts headline sounds like dad is some sort of project that needs to be developed, and can only be done so by a woman. As the reader’s question poses, yes, dad needs cared for – which is part of the definition of nurture – but he doesn’t need to be grown or developed (another part of the definition of nurture). If mom was given space to figure out things on her own, so can dad. That learning can also come together, but there’s no need to insinuate that a dad needs training that only the “lead parent” (e.g., mom) can provide.

To draw a comparison, let’s say a husband posed a similar question about his wife. Would anyone ever attempt to write a comparable headline, “Nurturing the Mother-to-Be”? No, because moms would likely be terribly offended. Most assume – because females give birth – that mothering is instinctual, and fathering must be learned. The truth is, mothers bear no more instinctual ability to parent than fathers.

whattoexpect5Now looking at Murkoff’s response, the opening line also shows a lack of respect for men. No, men don’t care only about sex, and it also suggests that men aren’t as dedicated to conceiving as women. Saying anything otherwise is demeaning to the many caring dads-to-be who are just as interested in having a baby as the mom-to-be.

That first sentence is a rather insensitive opening for a question that has a lot of heart. Remember, the wife’s question says that her husband is feeling “a little neglected,” and she wants to “let him know he’s special too.” That man sounds rather sensitive to us, not anything like the ones portrayed in a beer commercial near you. The bottom line is, it’s sexist to assume that the majority of men only care about the sex part, not the baby part.

That gender bias wouldn’t be so bad had it not been punctuated in the third paragraph, where Murkoff suggests a sports day for the husband. That’s a fine suggestion which most dads would probably enjoy, but not all dads do. It’s a little like how dads are portrayed on Father’s Day cards, almost always with neckties, suits and tools. Again, we’re not against the sports suggestion itself (it’s a great one!), but coupled with the men-only-care-about-sex anthem earlier, dads are feeling a bit profiled by the end.

What to Expect seems to have all the bases covered when it comes to pregnancy, but it might consider another book in its series which comes from a dad’s perspective. Alas, no pregnancy guide is complete without considering dad, because there’s a lot more to pregnancy than just the woman’s body and mind. That baby in there, it’s theirs equally.