A Walgreens surprise

I was surprised to learn that the word “hack” has exactly 19 different definitions at dictionary.com, and 24 if you count “verb phrases.” Perhapswalgreens even more surprising is the mostly negative connotations that come with the word hack: to damage, to cut ruthlessly, to kick at shins (ouch).

But we’re groomed from a very young age to believe that all surprises are a good thing, so Walgreens keeps my surprises coming. First, they not only choose to use the word hack with its latest foray into the Twitter-verse, but second, they alienate dads by putting only the word “mom” in front of it, and then hashtagging it.

As you can imagine already, this of course, is the theme of Walgreens’ newest Twitter ad campaign (pictured) that allows us to chuckle at all of our kids’ oopsies in life, which never go “according to plan,” and feature children making all kinds of laughable, silly, goofy messes.

A recent magazine ad states, “We’ve got your back, whenever and wherever you need us,” and urges us to buy their new line of Well Beginnings products (and nope, there isn’t any dad on their website to be found).

What would motivate a dad to shop at Walgreens after seeing this skewed Twitter crusade?

It sounds like their marketing people are hanging out with the Proctor & Gamble people – people who renounce or surrender individual independence, integrity, belief, in return for money in the performance of a task normally thought of as involving a strong personal commitment.

Yeah, that’s a definition of something that rhymes with “ack.” Surprise, surprise.

Coppertone deaf

We’re all in full summer mode, and that means spending more time outdoors. More time outdoors means we’re spending more time in the sun. More time in the sun means we’ll need sun protection.

As we do that, we reach for a brand we know and trust: Coppertone.

Coppertone’s name actually originated from its marketing, when in 1944, a pharmacist invented the lotion to darken tans (henceforth, a “copper”-colored skin “tone”). It really became famous in 1953 when the iconic Coppertone girl was created, whereby a dog pulls down her blue swimsuit and reveals her behind to have a lighter tone than the rest of her tiny body, all accompanied by the slogan, “Don’t be a paleface!”

If you think that slogan has an element of racist tinge, you are not mistaken. Coppertone’s original logo was the profile of an Indian chief. (Don’t feel too bad, Coppertone, you have company.)

Although it wasn’t a permanent fix at the time, at least Coppertone’s ancestors had the decency to lessen the nuances by replacing the Indian coppertonewith the girl. Eventually, the slogan was eliminated altogether, and even her “paleface” and bare bottom disappeared, too.

In later years, the Coppertone girl has been imitated, cartooned and parodied.

And somewhere along the way, I suspect someone – probably another pharmacist – realized darkening a tan isn’t the best thing for your health, so they developed a popular line of sunscreens to protect us. Coppertone was even named the #1 pediatrician recommended brand.

All seemed well in the slather-iffic world of Coppertone until their highly paid marketing geniuses decided to run an ad in the June 2014 American Baby magazine, and then let it fall into the hands of the dadmarketing headquarters.

Coppertone has a history of adapting with the times, but their latest magazine ad reeks of 1953. I love the opening two lines, “You want to let your kids be kids. But you still have to be the mom.”

Yep, if it weren’t for moms, kids would be dying of skin cancer everywhere because dads won’t do it; they’re lazy. That’s exactly the message Coppertone is sending, isn’t it?

But don’t take dadmarketing’s word for it, the rest of the world thinks dads are lazy, too. Go to Google Images and search “lazy.” You’ll find incessant pictures of men sleeping on couches, or watching TV.

Stereotypes die hard.

But then again, so does halfhearted, outdated, behind-the-times ad copy.

Now that’s what I call lazy.

If everybody else gets to write a list, we can too

Why bother?

ImageWhy would any company waste time marketing to dads?

Marketing to dads matters. Let us count the ways, and since lists seem to make the Internet go ‘round, here’s ours:

  1. It’s not about who uses the card, but about everything before the credit card is swiped – Anybody can put a Star Wars t-shirt in a shopping cart, but more went into that decision than you think.  What, or who, influenced it?  Maybe it’s dad’s love of the movie franchise that rubbed off on their kids.  Maybe it was a commercial the family saw while watching a hockey game together.  Maybe it is dad’s influence on a certain store the family frequents.  Maybe dad researched everything about the product online for the mom.  Maybe dad simply looks good in the shirt.  Any marketer can sit all day long in a store and prove that it was mom after mom who swiped that credit card in Target, but a wise researcher will investigate the whole story.
  2. No matter how small the slice is on the pie chart, it’s still a slice, and it still tastes like pie – I heard a weathercaster once say, “Even though there’s a 70% chance of rain today, remember that there’s a 30% chance it won’t.”  So, let’s say for example, that moms handle 70% of the purchasing.  Is a company really doing to ignore that potential 30% of dads who buy stuff?  Cereal makers do all the time, and if I was their CEO, I’d start looking for a new marketing team, and fast.
  3. Isn’t equality a goal? – When you alienate someone and make them feel left out, you’re bound to really turn them off.  What’s wrong with marketing to both mom and dad at the same time?  Nothing!  You’ll still have the mom in your good graces, and the dad will feel like he was included, too.  The good baby websites, I’ve found, are the ones that use the word “parent” and have photos of the newborn baby with both mom and dad.  Isn’t that a cool thing to see?
  4. Loyalty is king – If you become friends with someone at work or school, that’s nice.  If that friend invites you to their home, your friendship suddenly deepens, and you’ve formed a bond that makes you feel even more connected.  You’ve become loyal to them.  The same connection happens with retailers, and it means far more than customer satisfaction.  Dads are loyal people.  As author and speaker Jeffrey Gitomer once said, “Customer satisfaction is worthless.  Customer loyalty is priceless.”
  5. The Internet still is a game changer – Unless you’ve been living under a rock for say, the past 25 years, you’ve heard of the Internet.  It’s a marvelous tool used to gather information fast from all around the globe.  As far as I know, dads have used it to gather information, read and write reviews, and purchase things.  Lots of things.  Take the “zo” out of Amazon and you have “A man.”
  6. Look no further than sports – If you don’t follow sports, check out the power of the NFL, NASCAR, or any other sports league, and you’ll find it dominated by dads who have an allegiance to athletes and their games like no other.  It’s a gazillion dollar industry that continues to grow and expand with time.
  7. Dads eat and buy cereal – I think June Cleaver gets a bum rap.  Everyone likes to make her the poster child for old-fashioned, outdated behavior. Leave it to Beaver was a good show with wholesome characters, simply a product of its times.  Cereal is notorious for neglecting dads.  Kix is a product of its times too, but even a Beaver sequel in the ‘80s didn’t keep using the same formula – it updated for the times.  Read our December 17, 2013 entry if you want to learn more about Kix’s useless and archaic orange box.  It really isn’t the 1950s anymore, Kix, so hop on board the 2014 bus with the rest of us.  If I was Doc Brown and I had some plutonium, I’d so throw you into a DeLorean and send you “Back to the”…well, you know where.
  8. Credit card companies know better – Credit card companies know that their pocket-sized flat payment tools are used by dads, too.  That’s why they have dudes in their ads.  I’d even go as far to say that credit cards were inherently designed for dads:  they’re lightweight and flat since dads don’t like to carry things; they have cool pictures on them; they’re durable; they’re largely free to get (dads like free things); even acquiring one is easy to do.  Leave it to Jedi Master tough guy Mace Windu to set the record straight:  men do indeed use credit cards as he asks the question to which he already knows the answer, “What’s in your wallet?” Dads carry wallets.  Moms carry purses.  Closed, the case is.
  9. Dad, meet Internet; Internet, meet Dad – Dads and computers met a long time ago, and they realize how to use them.  Even if dads don’t always make the final purchase, they’re surely reading about the product beforehand.  They’re commenting on it.  They’re reviewing it.  And did you see that Amazon is starting an online grocery store?  Frankly, dads are probably purchasing things more and more off the Internet, because every good marketer claims knows that dads don’t like to shop in stores, right?  So, watch it marketers, because the slightest misstep and you’ll have more than one dadmarketing site broadcasting it to the world.
  10. Step up right here and behold, the spectacle! – The way dads get dissed everywhere, it seems like marketers make them out to be some kind of mythical creature that doesn’t exist.  In that vein, I have channeled my inner Dr. Seuss:

Dads move, dads think, they eat, they blink.

Dads stand, dads sit, they throw, they hit. 

Dads run, dads fly, they drive, they buy. 

Dads can do lots of things, you see. 

So don’t deny their authority.

Games people play

I don’t watch much TV, but I did see an interesting commercial during the Olympics, and you probably did, too.katyperry

There’s a Cover Girl ad which involves some major female celebrities exclaiming “Girls Can’t” — do this and that.  Of course, we all know girls/women can do absolutely anything, so you have to figure there’s something more to see.  It compels you to watch.  Well done, Cover Girl.  I liked it.

But apparently men, specifically dads, cannot do everything.  And that everything involves activities and games with their children.

Who says so?  Kellogg’s says so.

On the back of their Cars movie-themed fruit snacks, they offer six fun game ideas which kids can play:  h-0-r-s-e, flashlight tag, alphabet game, etc.  In the descriptions of the games, they implore kids to seek the help of but one gender:

– From Cloud Shapes game:  “Point them out to Mom and yell out what you think they are.”

– From Charades game:  “In this game, have Mom write down the names of different animals…”

– From Build a Snowman game:  “Finally, get that carrot Mom has in the fridge…”

Sure, it’s rather inconspicuous on the package, but as anyone in a relationship will tell you, it’s the little things that count.

So, Kellogg’s, please don’t be like all the other cereal companies.  (And believe me, there’s more to explore.)  See what you can do about keeping dads an important part of your marketing mix.