April 7, 2014

Daniel Murphy: MVP (Most Valuable Parent)

Nice job, Norman.

Our upstart enterprise is trying to advance the cause of dads in the marketplace, and you messed it all up. I realize we’ve only been in existence for four months, but you set back dads at least 40 years.

Your speak-first, think-later attitude fuels the rampant assumption that dads don’t want to be involved with their kids, validating the imprecise decision-making of marketers everywhere.

And you haven’t even apologized yet!

In case you thought you read or heard Norman’s apology somewhere, you didn’t. He never even apologized to the person at the center of this controversy! Let’s take a look at what Norman said in this so-called apology:

“I just want to say again on this radio show that in no way, shape or form was I advocating anything for anybody to do. I was not telling women what to do with their bodies. I would never do that,” he said. “That’s their decision, that’s their life and they know their bodies better than I do. And the other thing, too, that I really felt bad about is that Daniel Murphy and Tori Murphy were dragged into a conversation, and their whole life was exposed. And it shouldn’t have been.”

Right now I’m going to play the part of Norman’s PR (i.e., damage-control) assistant, because he clearly doesn’t have one. Let’s re-write what he could have said on the air — in addition to — his lame apology:

“Furthermore, I’d like to extend a heartfelt apology to Daniel Murphy and dads everywhere. Dads deserve to witness the birth of their children, and to be there for him/her in the infancy of its days on earth. After all, the woman was able to bond with the child, carry and hold it for the past 9 months — is a few days, or even a week, too much to ask for the dad? I think not. So, I am here to champion the cause that dads must be just as involved in raising children as the mom. And it starts from day one, at the hospital. I don’t care what profession you’re in, whether you’re in a high profile job like a Major League Baseball player or at the other end of the spectrum as, say, a radio show host. Dads deserve rights, too.”

Mr. Daniel Murphy, just go on being a dad and doing your thing. You made the best decision of your life, and don’t let other misguided individuals make you think that work comes above major life moments.

Once Norman reads this and hires me as his PR assistant, I’ll then have the money to afford tickets to a Mets game, at which point I’ll display a hand-made sign bearing the title of this day’s blog entry:

Daniel Murphy: MVP (Most Valuable Parent)

April 1, 2014

Oh, no you didn’t!

The employees of dadmarketing love moms. We think the world of moms. We love our own moms. We think being a mom is a noble calling.

So, it is no wonder, after reading one of the more influential and innovative mommy blogger sites around, we ask why the adoration can’t work both ways?

You’ve no doubt heard of renowned Norwegian mommy blogger Lirpa Sloof. In her latest entry at http://www.dadscantdoanythingright.com, she offers this stunning quote:

“Dads really have no purchasing power whatsoever. Sure, I see them in stores, but it’s only because they’re handing the credit card to the mom, and then nodding approvingly at everything she buys,” said Sloof. “I would argue that dads don’ creditcard t even know what that credit card does, nor do they know how to use it.”

Her eye-opening blog continues: “It would make things much easier if dads couldn’t carry credit cards, and were banned from even entering stores. It’s not like they do anything useful for their families, unless you count sitting on a couch and watching sports as useful.”

We know there aren’t many mommy bloggers out there, and it’s hard to take issue with what Sloof has to say — she is in a league of her own: she runs one of the top websites in the history of the Internet, serves as President & CEO of a major worldwide automotive manufacturer, exercises for six hours a day, bakes homemade cookies for her kids, coaches their soccer teams, handles several community fundraisers and serves in the Peace Corps. During her down time she likes to hand-sew American flags, volunteer at the humane society, write romance novels and pick up refuse in her adopt-a-turnpike program.

I’d go on-and-on, but I have a credit card application to finish.

So what do you think, should men be banned from shopping? We’d love to hear from you.

March 20, 2014

An open letter to doctor and dentist offices

Dear doctor/dentist/support staff:

I’m going to take a stab in the dark that, more often than not, moms attend the appointments of their children at your office.

But when dads do attend said appointments, there’s a lot you can do beyond health care. Try, with all your might, to look at the dad. Dads see you talking only to the mom, making them feel like a child in the room who doesn’t know what you’re talking about. You could even take it step further and actually involve dads in the conversation. You might be surprised that: A. They know more about their kids’ health than you think, B. They’re going to make your life easier and the well check appointment quicker, because dads aren’t going to bring up that misaligned eyelash on their 4-year-old that mom brings up at every appointment, causing you to roll your eyes when no one’s looking.

[Softly hum “His Truth is Marching On” in background while continuing…]

You see, dads are people too. Dads count. Dads aren’t the stereotypical, bumbling fools you grew up watching on sitcoms whose kitchen explodes because dad cooked a family meal for the first time when mom was out. Indeed, there is no such thing as Mr. Mom.

[…hum a little louder…]

So, kind doctor/dentist/support staff, some of you are dads, too. Remind America that dads haven’t been left out and they can make decisions about their kids’ health.

[…hum even louder, but picture a dad in a doctor/dentist office with a flag flapping behind him…]

Stand up for what’s right, and defend the freedom of dads in your office!

Yours truly,

The employees of dadmarketing

February 28, 2014

Games people play

I don’t watch much TV, but I did see an interesting commercial during the Olympics, and you probably did, too.

There’s a Cover Girl ad which involves some major female celebrities exclaiming “Girls Can’t” — do this and that. Of course, we all know girls/women can do absolutely anything, so you have to figure there’s something more to see. It compels you to watch. Well done, Cover Girl. I liked it.

But apparently men, specifically dads, cannot do everything. And that everything involves activities and games with their children.

Who says so? Kellogg’s says so.

On the back of their Cars movie-themed fruit snacks, they offer six fun game ideas which kids can play: h-0-r-s-e, flashlight tag, alphabet game, etc. In the descriptions of the games, they implore kids to seek the help of but one gender:

– From Cloud Shapes game: “Point them out to Mom and yell out what you think they are.”

– From Charades game: “In this game, have Mom write down the names of different animals…”

– From Build a Snowman game: “Finally, get that carrot Mom has in the fridge…”

Sure, it’s rather inconspicuous on the package, but as anyone in a relationship will tell you, it’s the little things that count.

So, Kellogg’s, please don’t be like all the other cereal companies. (And believe me, there’s more to explore.) See what you can do about keeping dads an important part of your marketing mix.

February 8, 2014

Boycott this

The Olympics are supposed to be a sporting competition of the greatest athletes in the world.

So why, then, is NBC using the opening of its telecast each evening to remind us of human rights issues that have nothing to do with sports? Why can’t they just cover, um, sports?

It’s about as unrelated as Proctor & Gamble creating the perception that moms are solely responsible for creating Olympic athletes.

Once again, we here at dadmarketing believe that moms do indeed have a part in raising kids and encouraging them through the thrill of victory and the agony of defeat. But what about dads?

P&G not only omits dads from the Olympic picture, but self proclaims themselves as the “Proud sponsor of Moms.”

In P&G’s world, dads flat-out don’t exist.

Don’t believe me?

Take a look at what a P&G VP said to USA Today: “Mom’s contributions to their kids’ lives are full of incredible sacrifices,” said Jodi Allen, Procter & Gamble vice president of North American marketing and brand operations. “We’re so moved by these moms and the way they help their children overcome obstacles to achieve their dreams. As athletes are named to Team USA, we celebrate the person that helped get each athlete there and who picked them up each time they fell — mom!”

Why can’t dads get equal love from P&G? What if dads orchestrated a boycott of their products? There’s a real boycott I’d love to see.

January 3, 2014

Even as a baby, Einstein had to be smarter than this

Shhh dads, please, keep it down!

Go back inside the sports bar, onto the golf course, into your fishing boats, or downstairs into your man cave. I realize there are only a few places men spend their time, but hide wherever you can, lest the brain trust at Baby Einstein figure out that there is indeed such a thing as a man cave, or that dads even exist. Don’t blow this, or you might end up having to (swallow hard) raise your children.

Think I exaggerate? I dare you to visit babyeinstein.com and try to find a dad cuddling-with-child. Although I can’t say I covered every page, I did come across one lone male somewhere buried in the “For parents” section. However, the ratio must be something like 1,000,000-to-1.

Either Baby Einstein is run entirely by women, or a by management staff who foolishly believes women make all purchase decisions, or their stock photography database simply includes no males. Who am I kidding, it’s probably all of the above.

Albert Einstein’s name is synonymous with intelligence, but I think even he’d be scratching his head over this stuff.

December 17, 2013

Kix it to the curb

We’ve all heard of stories how the mom used to drag the entire family to church, right? There must be some heavenly market research somewhere backing up this stereotype. So why don’t most churches appeal to the moms?

I can see the ads now: “Moms, you can trust in your kids’ salvation at our church, because we know dads don’t have a history of doing it.”

Let us bow our heads and thank heaven above it’s a good thing churches don’t behave like the makers of Kix cereal.

On the front of their famous yellow-orange box you can’t even find the word “cereal” emblazoned, but you certainly can find a rectangle larger than the General Mills logo itself proclaiming their longtime slogan, “Kid-Tested, Mother-Approved.” And they even have this saying copyrighted!

If it wasn’t clear yet as to exactly who they want to pick up and buy their cereal, simply turn the box slightly.

They used the side panel to include a “Message to Moms…” where they promise mothers that they’ll give kids the best of both worlds, nutrition and great taste. Below this is a “Kix Assurance,” proclaiming that “for over 70 years, moms have trusted our commitment to good nutrition.”

The 800 number comment line is listed under all of this, and it makes me wonder if a dad would even dare call it after their promises and claims to moms all over. Dads might need to make a deal with the devil to ever get this cereal to change.

Kix, you’re in my prayers. Amen.