December 8, 2014

With a little help from my friends

Last week dadmarketing had the pleasure of interacting with the excellent Tiny Blue Lines, a wonderful website we’re happy to have discovered. Highly recommended.

In our conversation, she brought up an interesting point.

You can head to our Twitter site if you want to read our discussion, but she made a comment worthy of further exploration when she said, “…props to all the dads who don’t think of (handling baby’s night feedings) as ‘helping’!”

That made us think.

In fact, it was enough to make us look up the true definition of help, which can be defined several ways, as noted at dictionary.com. Those most applicable in this case would be:

To give or provide what is necessary to accomplish a task or satisfy a need; contribute strength or means to; render assistance to; cooperate effectively with; aid; assist;
To make easier or less difficult; contribute to; facilitate;
To be useful or profitable to.

However, when put in context with night feedings and caring for a baby – a role most associated with mom – it seems to puts dad back in the assistant/helper role, doesn’t it?

Consider the converse: if a dad was working on a car in the garage all day and mom said, “I helped my husband work on the car today,” wouldn’t that also connote feelings that she was merely an aide, or an assistant?

And then it hit us that this is one of the many reasons dadmarketing exists.

The more we can all rid the world of these labels, stereotypes and preconceived notions, the more we’ll be able to say, dad helped to feed the baby during the night, and it will simply sound like he provided what was necessary to accomplish a task, or contributed to something, or was useful.

Period.

And it won’t sound like he was only assisting his wife with one of her jobs during the night. And when a dad cooks a meal it won’t sound like he was being a good husband and helping mom out in the kitchen. And, maybe, just maybe, we can rid the use of that absurd “Mr. Mom” name.

Tiny Blue Lines’ comment was indeed thought-provoking, because props for sure, to those dads who don’t think of it as helping, but further props to those moms and dads who don’t categorize it a mom or dad job in the first place.

October 17, 2014

Not cool-ish

Coming up next week on ABC’s new sitcom, “Black-ish”:

Hilarity ensues when Rainbow grows bored of being the stay-at-home mom and wants to get a job. But the plan backfires after Rainbow’s husband Dre tells her that her place is in the kitchen – and so does every potential employer with whom she tries to interview! Rainbow also wants to play in an adult softball league, but then it dawns on her that women can’t play sports! Once Rainbow finally realizes her place in life, she goes back to cooking, doing laundry and waiting on her family. It’s non-stop laughs from start to finish in what might be the most funny sitcom episode in the history of television – that’s “Black-ish” next Wednesday on ABC!

No, that isn’t a real promo for next week’s “Black-ish.” No one would dare dream of such a storyline.

But why is it ok the other way around?

In this past Wednesday’s episode, why was Dre made out to be the goofy dad who does next to nothing around the house? And then, when he tries to take on the so-called mom duties (itself a mockery) and switch roles, why does he have to fail miserably?

The episode certainly had its funny moments, but turning dad into a lazy, childlike character and belittling his duties in the home weren’t among them.

It has been 31 years since the “Mr. Mom” movie and we’ve made no progress whatsoever. That attitude in the entertainment world spills right into the commercials you watch and ads you read, where dad still plays assistant to the wiser mom, nodding approvingly to every decision she makes.

Even today, Hollywood still can’t find a better role for dad than mere comic relief.

Anthony Anderson as Dre is fantastic, and “Black-ish” seems like a fun sitcom with promise, but let’s hope they offer the character a little more dignity as a father – then maybe everyone can laugh with dad, and not at him.

August 18, 2014

Reel influence

For as many superhero movies as have been created in Hollywood, you’d think by now the industry might take heed of their own advice, “With great power comes great responsibility.”

The movie industry wields immense power in more ways than one because we love our movies. We watch them in the theater, we rent them, we buy them, we subscribe to them, we quote them, we wear them, we sleep on them, we tattoo them on our bodies.

Movies have huge fan-base followings with week-long conventions. Movies have specific theme park rides. Movies spend millions on advertising campaigns, in fast food restaurants, on billboards.

Some movies will be eternally watched by the next generation on different formats, living on forever in pop culture fame. Others may never be watched again.

Most are probably in between, but their influence remains.

Take “Mr. Mom,” for instance, and the lasting legacy it has left on dad stereotypes.

The film was made 31 years ago, enjoyed quite decent success, and was clearly a product of its times. In the early 1980s women were making fantastic strides in various arenas. Sandra Day O’Connor was named the first woman justice of the Supreme Court. Sally Ride became the first U.S. woman in space. Geraldine Ferraro was the first woman nominated by a major political party to run for vice president of the United States.

These historic events brought about major changes to women. It opened up doors to professions that had normally belonged to men, and demanded equality in nearly every walk of life. It wasn’t perfect and still isn’t, but the gender balance was becoming more balanced.

Given all these events, it was no wonder that famed movie writer John Hughes came up with a mom-dad role reversal movie that many found hilarious. Three decades later, stay-at-home dads are still not the norm, but it’s easy to find humor in the storyline.

The name itself is so self-explanatory, that one hardly needs to see the movie poster or even watch a clip to wonder what it might be about. Its title has been used over and over so many times that it alone demonstrates the power of the movie industry, and overall media influence.

Nearly any reference to a stay-at-home dad, whether in media or informal conversation references the movie title. A label was born, and it will never go away. “Back to the Future” is another over-referenced movie title that comes to mind, and seems to work its way into language anytime someone needs a catchy reference to the future.

If the “Mr. Mom” movie had been given a different title, say, “Switcheroo,” would the movie have slipped out of our pop culture consciousness a long time ago? If Hughes were able to bring back the original cast for a sequel, would a title and premise such as “Mrs. Dad” have the same effect?

I have no issue with the “Mr. Mom” movie concept. But we must all remember the thought, “With great power comes great responsibility.”

Truly, the next time you’re ready to tell a story – dear movie industry – and spend money on actors, sets and marketing, consider that you’re not only investing in millions of dollars, but also into the human psyche, for which there is no price tag.

And the only sequel to that is the next generation of consumers, of whom you apply great influence.

June 6, 2014

If you abuse your power, do you have too much?

Who most influences your behavior and opinions?

Your parents? Your siblings? Your pastor?

Wrong on all three counts. And wrong on anything else you might think is the answer.

It’s the news media. The media has a power so strong they travel on the same plane as the President. It shapes much of public perception, and with smart phones, blogs and social media, nearly anyone can become an instrument for and with the media. You might not agree, but Donald Sterling does. And so do plenty of others.

Any PR firm will tell you that when utilized correctly, the power of the media can be a most valuable ally. When handled carelessly, it can be dangerous and harmful to one’s image. But just because the new media is all-powerful, doesn’t mean it’s all-perfect.

In its most basic form, the media’s job is to report the news. However, more and more we witness the media injecting opinions into print stories, offering comments after reading the TV news script, and personal view sound bites that act as fillers in-between radio commercials. The Internet is responsible for much of this, where there is no time or page limit, allowing anyone to ramble on with whatever they want for as long as they want. There used to be separate news columns and opinion columns, but now you can hardly tell which is which.

The lines have been blurred. The gray area is grayer. The muck is muckier.

And now, what once was a factual reporting of events, has become a writing free-for-all where reporters can say and do whatever they want in the name of journalistic sovereignty.

This article, in yesterday’s USA Today, was tarnished early on through the irresponsible use of “Mr. Mom” in the first paragraph. What’s more, the story could have been accompanied by a photo of a dad caring for children, or working in the home. Instead, the newspaper chose to use a photo of Michael Keaton from the film “Mr. Mom,” where he’s drying a child’s bottom on a public bathroom’s automatic hand dryer.

Don’t get me wrong, I certainly find the image humorous. But it had little to do with the story, other than reinforce the unfitting perception that dads are bumbling idiots when it comes to raising their children. (And the least USA Today could have done was get the year of the movie right – it was 1983, not 1883.)

All of this is unfortunate, because otherwise, the story was well done and interesting. Nevertheless, “Mr. Mom” is now three decades old, and the connotation falsely assumes that societal norms never change, leaving the reader lost at best, and offended at worst with this poor choice of association.

The news media wouldn’t be so powerful if we would only consume it, not overindulge on it.

March 20, 2014

An open letter to doctor and dentist offices

Dear doctor/dentist/support staff:

I’m going to take a stab in the dark that, more often than not, moms attend the appointments of their children at your office.

But when dads do attend said appointments, there’s a lot you can do beyond health care. Try, with all your might, to look at the dad. Dads see you talking only to the mom, making them feel like a child in the room who doesn’t know what you’re talking about. You could even take it step further and actually involve dads in the conversation. You might be surprised that: A. They know more about their kids’ health than you think, B. They’re going to make your life easier and the well check appointment quicker, because dads aren’t going to bring up that misaligned eyelash on their 4-year-old that mom brings up at every appointment, causing you to roll your eyes when no one’s looking.

[Softly hum “His Truth is Marching On” in background while continuing…]

You see, dads are people too. Dads count. Dads aren’t the stereotypical, bumbling fools you grew up watching on sitcoms whose kitchen explodes because dad cooked a family meal for the first time when mom was out. Indeed, there is no such thing as Mr. Mom.

[…hum a little louder…]

So, kind doctor/dentist/support staff, some of you are dads, too. Remind America that dads haven’t been left out and they can make decisions about their kids’ health.

[…hum even louder, but picture a dad in a doctor/dentist office with a flag flapping behind him…]

Stand up for what’s right, and defend the freedom of dads in your office!

Yours truly,

The employees of dadmarketing